Thursday, March 25, 2010
When I stop living in the moment, I lose perspective. Things that are very far away seem close and tiny things appear to be huge. Then it is easy to get over whelmed and start feeling hopeless and depressed, etc.
I sent an email to my friend Duane about the indignities of being in the hospital, expecting him to commiserate with me. He was in the hospital last weekend dealing with his own health issues. Here is part of what he wrote back:
“The funny thing about being in the hospital is that it is so easy to think that whatever is happening to you is the worst thing ever until you hear the guy next to you working on his will with his wife because the doctors aren't sure if he will survive the brain surgery to remove the tumor that has returned.”
His reply reminded me that I was letting little things get in my way instead of placing them in their proper perspective. By focusing on the little things, I was neglecting what really important.
One of the first things I learned in Ala-non is to be gentle with myself. Making mistakes is inevitable. Berating myself for making them is not. Living is about discovery. In order to discover things, I need to be actively involved in life. And that means that sometimes I will start down a a wrong path before discovering the right one.
I had forgotten that my prognosis is good-all the doctors have told me to expect a complete recovery. What I was experiencing was necessary to achieve that goal.
Courage to Change reminds me to take it “one task, one step, one day at a time.” By focusing on getting through the moments instead of wishing they weren't happening, I get closer to where I am going. To get through those difficult moments, I have my Higher Power and the tools of He has given me.