Good things about being home #1

The pets were glad to see me. Olivia, the maddest cat in southwest Ohio, has not let me leave her sight since I got home from Jewish Hospital on Tuesday night. Eloise, the monster dog, ran around the yard in circles, stopping to poke her head in my lap every few circuits. Then there is Frannie, our cocker spaniel; if God created anything cuter than cocker spaniels, he kept it for himself. She is almost unbearably cute, even when she snores. Many nights I've lulled myself back to sleep listening to her snuffle and wheeze in her sleep. After four nights without my her unique brand of white noise, tt was a great comfort to be able to listen to her again. Of course Thor, the Fat Bastard in feline form, just gave me his half lidded, “Oh, were you gone?” look and went about his business.

I had been in the hospital in Cincinnati for 5 days being tested and treated for Guillain-Barre Syndrome. While in the hospital, I wrote long notes about being there and what was happing to me. I posted them on facebook page and Emailed them to people who aren't part of the social network scene as a way to let friends and family know what was happening. In response, I got plenty of support and encouragement back. This helped take a lot of the fear out of the experience for me.

I have been thinking about creating my own blog instead of emailing/noting people when I write something, but I was worried that no one would read it. Adrienne, a huge support, pointed out that blogging would be good for me. As usual, she put her finger on it. All this writing was to help me process things. I had never thought that writing things down benefits me the most (although plenty of friends have pointed this out).

Since last summer, I have been praying for God to make me a better man, a better husband, father, son, Christian, etc. I don't think that my recent illness was an answer to my prayer, but I do believe that it has been a chance to learn to use some of the tools I have available.

Some of those tools have been reading my daily literature, a trusted sponsor, the fellowship and community and learning to speak for myself to others, even if it is things I don't want to be made known. And another tool has been journaling.

I never thought that journaing stuff was for me, because, you know, who wants to read my meanderings? But thanks to my wonderful wife, I realized that the most important member of the audience is me. Of course I am also the harshest critic, so I am going to stop now because this will never be perfect and I've written enough for today.