Saturday, March 27, 2010

Good news I forgot about until the middle of the night

Last Saturday, in the hospital, the neurologist tested the reflexes in my legs and called them "dead." Yesterday in Oxford, when Dr. Hoke tested them, they both twitched! I was so preoccupied by obsessing on how long the recovery will take, I completely forgot that the process has already begun.

This was one of the things that came to me early this morning while I was trying to get back to sleep. Another thing that came to me was how much I am enjoying doing this. It is hard work; nothing flows. But I like what I have done so far. I also like the fact that it is not perfect, but I can press the "Publish Post" button anyway.

I figure about 95% of the time, I am letting perfectionism, procrastination, or paralysis hold me back. I have been learning that I don't have to be spot on perfect, or even 100% right in everything I do. After all, I am a work in progress, so why shouldn't my every day life reflect progress (a fourth P!). Making mistakes is a part of life, so I should embrace my errors. This way, I can reduce the chances of making the same mistake twice. My friend Jutta told me that she learned to say say "Thank you for teaching me" to her mistakes.

A friend in school once told me that if I was having trouble saying something, it might be because it isn't clear in my mind what I want to say. A lot of what I do is write things down, then go back and try to make it coherent. This is where I get a chance to really learn the lessons that I've read about or gotten from talking with others.

A last piece of good news-I made it to my first meeting in 2 weeks today.


  1. What a graceful attitude you have through this trial- much admiration & kudos to you.

  2. Thanks. Mostly I'm tied up in knots. Keep us up to date with Basil.

  3. Perhaps not always struggling for perfection is one of the lessons God wanted you to learn from this experience. If so and you learn it I will be very happy. I am very proud of you my love

  4. "I figure about 95% of the time, I am letting perfectionism, procrastination, or paralysis hold me back.: Goodness - I think we have more than just GBS in common... This is something I could have written about myself!