Update

It has been five days since my last narcotic.  I just finished my first night good night's sleep in nearly a week.  When I say good, I mean pain free (without drugs).  

Now what am I supposed to do?

The bed at a detox never appeared, but I got it on medical advice that I was pretty well through it.  Detoxing is a physical process where the body begins to readjust to live without massive chemical influx it has been deluged with for X amount of time.  It is different from treatment or rehab (I learned).

Detoxing is relatively brief compared to the longer hospital stays for treatment.  I have heard some people share about being in their second year of treatment.  I realized I was unclear about that in my last post (as I was in my own head).  

Which brings the fact that there is a lot about this process (I guess I can call it recovery?) that I do not know.  

I found this yesterday, seems apropos:

                                                              N.A. 3rd Step Prayer

Take my will & my life,

Guide me in my recovery,

Show me how to live.

Decisions Decisions

I ran into Ella's favorite groomer yesterday.  She greeted me with a smile and told me she had a dream about me recently.  I said that women always tell me that (leaving out that it is usually in nightmares).

She had something very serious on her mind that she wanted to share about a big decision she had made.  With the support of her fiance, she was quitting her job.  She had faith that this was the right thing to do, but it was scary because she did not know what the next step would be.  "It might be the worst decision I ever made," she said.